Good GOD, Zabini!
by Underlined Twice
Summary: Short, fluffy oneshot about Hermione and Blaise. NonHBP compliant. Rated for mentioning sex underneath the Hufflepuff table.


**Good _God_, Zabini!**  
By Underlined Twice

* * *

"Good _god_, Zabini!" Hermione was furious and close to tears. She had been fighting with Blaise Zabini again. She didn't like arguing with him. They were good friends most of the time. Except… neither of them classified the other as a "friend". Verbal sparring partner, book-buddy, whatever came to mind at the time. But never friends.

Even after they admitted that they were attracted to one another, they stayed the same as before. It had been painfully blunt and nothing had come of it, but they remained "friends". Hermione had ignored their mutual confessions and went on with her life. Blaise did the same. Then came Christmas.

Whoever decided to enchant mistletoe was a lunatic and deserved to be locked up in Azkaban with the Dementors _and_ the mistletoe. Unfortunately, Dumbledore wasn't about to be carted off anytime soon.

They had nodded politely to each other on their ways to Professor McGonagall's office and the Great Hall. They passed under an arch at the same time. Then they couldn't move away from it. A devilish cackle sounded throughout the hallway and they looked up to see the enchanted mistletoe.

They had stared at each other. They had seen the effects of this mistletoe on others and knew what had to be done. The sphere in which they could move would gradually get smaller and smaller until they were forced to kiss. When that happened, however, it wasn't so much a kiss as a mashing of faces and teeth that didn't let up for a good two and a half minutes. Two unfortunate muggle-born first years with braces were embarrassingly stuck together until Professor Flitwick came along and charmed them apart. Both parties suffered cuts and nicks from the wires and had to go to the Hospital Wing.

Hermione swallowed hard and looked Blaise in the eye. "Let's get this over with, all right?" He nodded and pecked her on the lips. They tried to walk away. They couldn't.

"A little more saliva, my popsies!" The infuriating cackle echoed off the walls again.

Hermione took out her wand, completely prepared to hex the weed out of existence. However, she was not prepared for Blaise to kiss her again. Deeply. Forcefully. _Wonderfully._

One of his hands wound its way through her hair to rest at her neck and she sighed into his mouth. He nipped at the corner of her lips and swept his tongue across her bottom lip.

_Dear Merlin, he can kiss well!_ was Hermione's only thought as her arms went around his neck and pulled him closer. Their tongues met in an exhilarating battle of dominance and teasing.

Then he stopped. He walked away. He acted as if nothing had happened. The _bastard._

Hermione decided to follow his example and think nothing of it. She managed to forget the incident rather successfully until two weeks ago.

He kissed her again. After one of their normal studying sessions. They were packing up and saying their goodbyes when he leaned over and planted one on her. It wasn't very long, only a few seconds, then he pulled away and walked out the door.

Hermione was extremely confused.

He continued this routine two more times before she couldn't take it any longer.

"Good _god_, Zabini!" Hermione was furious and close to tears. "Why do you keep on doing this?"

"Doing what?" Blaise asked, nonplussed.

"_Kissing me_," she shouted. "Then just… walking away!"

"Oh, that." He smirked.

Hermione growled, a deep feral sound he hadn't heard her make before. It was slightly scary. She drew her wand.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't hex you into next week." Her voice was low and menacing.

_Sweet Merlin,_ Blaise thought. _No wonder she was able to take on You-Know-Who._

"Because I like kissing you," he said simply.

"That's _it?_"

He shrugged. It was true. One day he decided for a repeat of the mistletoe incident to see if it was a fluke or not, and lo and behold, it wasn't.

"I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered." Hermione said truthfully, not lowering her wand.

Blaise stood and moved towards her. "Be flattered, _Hermione._" He slowly kissed her neck. It was the first time he had said her given name.

"You're a bastard, you know." She was pleasantly flushed.

He smirked and gently pressed his lips to hers.

_Here we go again,_ Hermione thought giddily and sunk into the kiss.

When they broke apart, Hermione gathered up her courage to speak. "I know this is horribly clichéd, but what are we?"

Blaise shook his head and laughed a little. Always analytical, that one. He wasn't quite sure how to answer the question, either. Definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. He hated the titles and her friends would kill him. Secret trysts? Not a chance in hell. Snuggle buddies? Good god, where was his mind taking him?

"Do we have to be something?" He asked. "Can't we just study together with a snog here and there?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Only 'here and there'?" She asked archly.

Blaise grinned before kissing her soundly.

"But…" Hermione said nervously. Her pulse was racing and his hands were on her waist. "Are we talking about random play, or commitment?"

Blaise sighed. What was it with females that made them plan everything down to the last detail?

He looked at her seriously. "We're going to have a secret relationship for two years filled with hot, steamy sex everywhere from Snape's desk to underneath the Hufflepuff table. We'll plan to elope, but before we do, you'll find out that you're pregnant and we'll get into a fight. We'll get back together after a month and you'll have miscarried. It will bring us closer together than ever. We'll come out to our parents; yours will understand, mine will disown me, but I'll have a fortune hidden away. We'll get married, and live happily ever after with a Quidditch team of children, all devilishly handsome and breathtakingly beautiful. They'll also be named after people we know. There'll be Harriet, Draco, Molly, Narcissa, James, Arthur and Severus."

Hermione stared. "Blaise…"

"Yes?" His face held no sign of joking or amusement.

She stood straighter and composed herself. "Your ideas need some work." Hermione smirked a bit. "For instance, we will _not_ have any children, and if we do by some bizarre chance, we will _not_ name them after the Weasleys or Malfoys. But you do have some good points."

Blaise couldn't recognize the expression on her face. "Such as?" He was worried now. Had she missed the sarcasm? Did she think they would get married and live happily ever after?

Hermione was grinning wickedly. "Snape's desk, eh?"

* * *


End file.
